LOSING the first game against Allytraf in Slippi’s Unranked service, area man Jackson Hoss was left feeling like a throwaway hookup as his opponent disconnected without as much as a “ggs”.

Wondering what he’d done wrong, Jackson Hoss took to his local Melee Discord chat to pursue the internet stranger for an explanation.

“One and done @Allytraf? I can switch characters if you want” commented the projectile-heavy Young Link main, who was almost JV5’d by his opponent if it weren’t for a rogue dair upsetting Allytraf’s otherwise perfectly executed pillars.

Feeling particularly disgruntled that Allytraf took advantage of lag spikes while Hoss was offstage, his mind reeled as he saw Allytraf typing a response.

“Sorry, just looking for quick games atm” replied his now-rival, instilling a silent rage in Hoss who couldn’t stop thinking about how unfair it was and deserved at least a best-of-three because that’s good sportsmanship.

At press time, Hoss told reporters he would disconnect straight away if he were to rematch Allytraf, just to show him how it feels.