WITH a complete lack of self awareness, Daniel Phillips was in the spotlight at last months Couch Warriors Melee tournament with sopping wet armpits.

“It was pretty disgusting” said witness Jordan Brown, who saw the event unfold.

“It started after he was knocked into losers bracket, his pits looked a little damp but by finals his shirt was fucking soaked. He brushed past me after his finals set, I had to hold my breath as he walked by because I didn’t want to breathe any of his stink air.”

“It started after he was knocked into losers bracket, his pits looked a little damp but by finals his shirt was fucking soaked.”

“My mate offered him some Lynx Africa he had in his backpack, but Daniel said no thanks, as if his shirt wasn’t holding 50% of the total body fluid he came into the venue with.” Jordan said.

When reached for comment, Phillips advised reporters “I guess I sweat sometimes. I don’t like antiperspirants, they irritate my skin.”

At press time, Couch Warrior TO’s were organizing spare T-shirts made of 100% organic breathable cotton to hand out at the next tournament.